Poject Heartagram

Sorry for not posting the past couple of weeks, or the past month. I ‘ve been kinda dying slower in my chair this time. So it’s been sucking lately, ebesides coz I think no one reads this blog unless I force them to di it with a gun or just something really sharp.

The point is, a couple of nghts ago, I came with this really great idea in my mind. So great, that will keep me busy for the time enoguh this summer.
I called it, the “Project Heartagram”!!!!
This project is the result of thons of upcoming boring days in my life, and to give my plain life a little of tasty salsa, I tought of this, amm.. it could be a little bad, I could get arrested or just,, punched my a group of gang mob or somehting like that.
My plan consists on thons of graffitis of this!:

Around my city, but thats not it, I’m not sure yet how many of these little pretty stars I will paint in many walls, but the point is to poaint them, on estratigical places, around all my town, in the end, when all the ahrd work and the blood is done. You can draw a line connecting all the graftitis with each other, and what do you have????? A SINGLE/GIANT/AWESOME INTEGRAL HEARTAGRAM AROUND ALL MY TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s funny, the things you come up  when you are bored.
I’m really looking forward to do this project, actually I kinda hired a man with enough spray to paint a whole mansion. I also have another friend, that will supervise the operation, and all i need right now is a map of my town, I’ve been searching for one everywhere, damn!! It’s hard.

I know what some of you may be thinking, this is pointless, or just absurd, well, I’m not doing this for the love of art, well, in part I am, and for the love I have to this symbol and it’s meaning, I am doing this, to feel I can still do great things, and to up my selfstime a little bit more. Because, i need selfstime, and above all, I need some cool fun at night.

Your mom

There’s something really that make me sad and angry with the world and relatives and all the rest of people I know and are involve in that: Love.
We are in such an age that you some people may have not growoth their damn brains big enough to understand, that not all the first loves are the on, nor the seconds, third, fourth, fifth… all the way up to the that big number that tell you that you are pregnant.
Some other people aren’t just idiots, they know all the rules, they know all the plan, they know everything… and they give a shit, they preffer to lie to themselves, why? because they are unhappie.
That’s the bad thing, a lot of people are unhappi, I live in an institution that most of it’s students and teachers can tell you that they live unhappie lifes, especially those that seem happier than the rest, it’s kinda of a curse, it’s sick, it’s just nothing well at all.
I don’t blame them, most of them, as the matter fact, I was like them I lied to myself, I lived in a two dimensional world with only me and my feelings, I was blindfolded by my own feelings, I was desesperate, and, took advantage of someone’s else kindess.

We face our fears as we face the sun, it’s almost impossible for us to see the real picture, we are scared, we are not well connected to nothing, we are a bunch of lost puppies in a basket floating on a river, get over it!

Life is hard, but please, those that are reading this and don’t deserve it, open your eyes and see the world around you, see ask a question to yourself, who am I? What am I doing?

I know this it’s hard, it’s very hard, it’s almost impossible, I don’t blame you… but one day you woke up and all your life is ruined by nothing.

Questions inside codes

In times in need, what do we have?

There’s nothing in this world that can really satisfice our toughts, and give us enough answers to live and kill ourselves for the weight of those answers.
It sucks, badly, to not be capable of understand certain people, I want to be happy, I always try to be happy, but I can’t. So what do I do when I don’t get what I want? I get cruel.
I like to be cruel, I like to be distant, I need to stop, but I just can’t, I’m too coward to fave my problems in the other way.
Fear leads us to do bad things, bad things that we later reget. It’s true that the world is mad, real mad, people die every day, other people are selfish, and we all try to be happy with ourselves in any way, no matter what way. I feel my brain is cooking itself, I don’t know what the hell to do, I could be an idiot, or I could still try to hang on the thing that mantin me in this world.

What should I do? There are not too many options, I could try to be just myself, but at what price?

How much a live cost? Coz I’m planning to sell mine.

170207

I’m missing paragraphs of what I should write, life doesn’t gets easier by time.
Noone ever wondered what a day could be, if nothing happened? Many things happens in aday, bad things, good things, somepeople donm’t even believe in days, they believe in life, in existence.
What is the price of existence? Problems, issues, people.
Once you belive your existence can be something else, something better than you think, life get it backs, life stole your dreams, and you have to catcch them again.
When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Make leonade? Most people squeeze the lemons to hurt other people’s eyes.
Days don’t exists, there’s only dark and light, there’s only life, and above all, there’s momments, good and bad momments, and there’s memories, people remember good and bad momments. And at the end of the day what do we got? A bunch of bad and good momments, a good momment can be a bad momment and a bad momment can be a good momment, most of the times is relative. So its the choose of the indivudual to choose how was his or her day.

I hate Valentine!!

Here, I just found online 10 good reasons to hate Valentine’s Day, I’ll put my own later on, I think these are too good and true to don’t be labeled by me!!
Enjoy.

1. Its too commercial. The whole idea of the holiday is to make profits for florists, greeting-card companies, candymakers, jewelers, and restaurants. When the spontaneity is gone, so is the romance.

2. My girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is too materialistic. That girl you’ve been dating for a few months expects an engagement ring on Valentine’s Day. Your boyfriend thinks a card and a box of candy is going to buy him into your pants. Yes, its contrived, but greedy people are just as much to blame as the gift stores.

3. I give and give, and get nothing in return. For women, this often means you find the most personal, meaningful, and romantic gift possible. The kind of thing you’d like to receive. Except you don’t, because he doesn’t consider it as important as you do. For men, this means that her expectations are so high you’ll never completely please her, no matter what you do.

4. Its too cutesy and sappy and feminine. Mostly guys say this, but they are right. Pink hearts belong in a schoolgirl’s room. Valentines Day can send you into a diabetic shock.

5. I’m trying to stay unattached. Fear of commitment and all. This is normal, but hard to deal with when you’re surrounded by hearts and flowers and romance. On top of that, your mother is bugging you about getting a date for the holiday. Bah, humbug!

6. I have a new girlfriend/boyfriend, but its too soon to make any statements about love or commitment. The holiday pumps up the pressure. What if she/he makes some grand romantic gesture? How am I going to respond? A date on the stupid calendar can feel like an ultimatum!

7. I just escaped a bad relationship. You may be relieved, heartbroken, scard, lonely, broke, depressed or angry. The last thing you need is hearts and flowers.

8. I’m lonely. Like the poor kid with his nose mashed against the window, you’d like to take part in this magical ritual of love, but you don’t have the essential part -someone to be your valentine. Its hell to have the only desk at your workplace with no flowers or candy displayed.

9. I have a stalker. You’re desirable, alright. To a psycho who won’t take no for an answer. He/she thinks because you answered one email message, you two are now an “item”.

10. I hate holidays. I hate people. I hate February. Some people are just that way.

So, what do you have planned for that day?

Hell In Heaven II

Evolution made him laugh
the sciencie of dark and light
people emerged from the sand
and sang lullabies to the sky

The wind is dark
the dead bodies are white
the ground is invisible
And my eyes full of your red dawn

I want to speak to God
But I don’t know where he is
I want to see my brother
But he lost his mind

I’m alone now
in a dead heaven in the end of the world
full of dead bodies
broken hearts and shatered harps

¡Give me a chance, God!
I screamed to the sky
Please take me to save them all
Use my blood if you want

In that momment the silence reigned
the dead bodies slaped themselves
I was alone now
With hell or earth only in my way

Just Another Piece of It’s dead light

There was once, on a universe, far away from this one, a little star, a little red star that shined every night and every day, no matter where it blue sun remained. The red star sang, the red star danced, it was a very happy life for this little piece of light, it lived in a universe, full of death and chaos, men cutted their heads off, because of arguments and bad views. People ate too much, women drank too much, children screamed a lot, but still they lived for years and centuries, in their planets for a while.

One day the blue sun exploded, and all the other stars died, the blue sun was sick of human kind, it spoke to his king, but nothing they would fix, the blue sun killed himself, and everyone died in a beautiful transofmration, of light, heat, and love. People stoped screaming, children stoped dreaming, it was quiet everywhere, everyday and everynight.

The red star woke up, it wasn’t in his home anymore, next to the first second moon, infront of a planet color brown and dark blue, the star tought he traveled a lot, he used to do that in his dream world, you dream you are flying, and woke up a full miles away from his old home. The star searched for the sun, searched for the screams, searched for the cutted heads and human tools. Everything was black, no star, no sun, no planet, not even dust. The star survived an holocaust, he was alone now, crying but kept shinning his red light up.

It tought the blue sun was still alive, it was all a joke, everyone was still alive, he traveled millions miles, but found no live. Suddenly the star found alone, alone in the middle of the pitch black universe far away from love. There wasn’t a reason to live for the star, there wasn’t anyone to talk, there wasn’t anyone to love, the star dropped it last red tear, and decided to end his life, right after a last dream.

The little star exploded, a big red light came out from him, any other star could see that light million miles away from where it really was. It was beautiful, a really big bing bang, it lasted three seconds tought, the star dissapeared, leaving a lot of dust, blood, and light, and a little ball, hot and red like he was. It started to spin around, it was like a beautiful red dance, more little balls then came, formed different colors, and beautiful tastes. A song started to emerge, out of nowhere, a new universe was built from a dead red star then.

Inunderstandable sings

Gloom runs in your blood
it changes your taste
it controls your world
Lifts your darkness within the void

In the hearts of children
you fastly descend
the people around you
holding masks and candles

Drinking the juice of tmeptation
in the hall of the holly God
the rage and despair are born
i’ts been you, all along

Why Can’t I be You?

Today is one of those borings day were nothing happened. Nothing, bbut everything at the same time, do you get it? neither do I, that is the magic of this wonderfull day full of light and sttrange weather. I wish i could know what exactly to do each day of the day, that is one of my problems, I finally have a great computer so I can use Word or other porgrams to write cool stuff and scare you all to your guts. Ok, a fact is that I’m not that good writing, I’m only 16 years old.

Besides the other subject, this time i’d like to analize my existence in this world. Why people always worry too much about their feelings? I hate that people worry a lot about if they are alone in this world or nop. It’s frustrating, because these people can suprise you with nosense actions in order to obtain infinity happiness with some bastard or a simple dude around the corner. I am asking these people that read this blog, does it worth it?
I tell this for own experiencie, it sometimes doesn’t, most of the times, the person end up more lonely than before, sometimes the person just end up feeling worsth and sometimes, the person end up involving with a jackass. Everybody wants love, but most of all, everybody wants to be loved. They are like insects looking desesperatly an enorumous piece of cookie in the ground, but you end up crashed by some jerks finger. The fear of not obtaining the big piece of cookie is a lot bigger, than the fear of being crashed by some jerks fingers. People need to realize, that you don’t obtain love, love always come, and if you want happiness, go get high or something, or even better, read a fucking book.

Hell in HEAVEN

As the halo choked the angels
the grief and doubt surrounded him
the question remained
and the taste of blood ached

What is to love?
What about all the halos he putted?
There were all covered in blood?
Just like the one his brother sold

And the accident happened
the poor angels had fallen
heaven turned into hell
all because a mistake

Humans made mistakes, he tough
and his mind got revolved
this isn’t earth at all
or is it? coz now its full of blood and dust

He turned heaven into hell
by turning it into earth
not like when his brother sold his halo once
his wing and his arp

He wanted to feel love, he told him
He died on earth
and went straight to hell
just like God told him before he went

And now in the bizarre dream
of death and fake wings
heaven falls against earth wills
punishment and sins

He learned that angels aren’t that pure
they just payed for their sins right now
their halo choked them up
and in the mercy of a new God, they are upon.